Who Am I Not?
Here’s The Thing

This type of situation has happened to me before.
Where a friend, or someone, has attempted to “hook me up” (for lack of better word choice) with some guy they know.

The first time was back in probably ninth grade.

A really close friend told me about this guy who was into a lot of similar things I was into. He friended me on -MySpace-. Wanted my number. I made up lies.
Like, I don’t have minutes, or something, to text.
I jut wasn’t interested. And, yeah that’s rude. But, we did talk online a few times.

Things worked out for him. He’s now in a relationship. For a few years. So, good for him.

The second time, my cousin tried setting me up with a guy she knew.

This was probably three or four months ago.

He added me on Facebook and that’s about it.
Which is totally okay. He’s into things in not into (partying, smoking, you know). So, that’s okay that nothing happened.

But, at least those two people, my close friend and cousin, we’re people I knew really well and felt comfortable with.

The person trying to set me up now is an “ex best friend”. Or whatever you want to call it.
Like, hardcore hate towards one another.

But, I don’t hold grudges. We’ve talked over the past few years. And, I was at a party with her a week ago.

It’s just so weird.

I want to know how I come up in conversations. I want to know why people talk about me. And what makes them think of me.

You know?


I hate that I’ve been talking about this situation so much. But it’s all that’s been on my mind.

I feel bad for the guy. He’s liking the wrong girl. Because of the way I am.


Honestly, I need some help. I don’t know what to do. I really need to hang out with some friends and discuss this. And figure out my feelings for another person.



I Wish That

My friend didn’t go to college.
That this whole guy thing happened sooner.
So maybe she would have had a bonfire and him and I could have met at a place I feel comfortable.
With a bunch of people I know.
That way it would be more of hanging out and not a date thing.
Because, at this point, I’m not gonna text him.
I never text anyone.
I don’t like it.
This is gonna get real awkward.
More awkward than I already feel.

It’s not him.
I’m actually rather flattered.
I’m just awkward.


Kill my awkwardness!

'never give up'